That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -52

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

thumb_up thumb_down -70

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -82

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

thumb_up thumb_down +113

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Hey, you want a ride?

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -77

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +137

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

thumb_up thumb_down -73

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!