Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!