- Anti-Pickup Line

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant shorts shorts whine wheeze at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Words of wisdom: temptations from the darker side, but do you got what it takes? (Balls children, balls) Example "not" from real life: My three girlfriends leave after all five of us bang well me (my wife is with em too now wait) the three others leave, my wife asks me what I thought about the... Manysome? Im tired, (for a reason eh?) I asked her to tell me first, she looked me in the eyes and said, lets invite them over again tomorrow. I raised my arm saying "FUCK YEAH! A LITERALL FUCK YEAH! RISING MY ARM INTO THE AIR AS A PUMP FIST, BUT SHE HIGH FIVED ME INSTEAD... What is there not to love? Where does the love fail? Love is endless and grows the more you share, SO START FUCKING MORE! No really lets analyze this, if you are scared already now, you are a bible bashing geek, and not selected to join the gene pool for the next generation, you see, mother nature weeds out filth such as you... While I... Well I got everything I want... ...Now if you could say the same, maybe you can, but its not something you can learn, its something you got to be. Lets move on shall we? 1. Oh No Nero, this means you do not love your wife? I do not love my wife because she not only allows me but with the condition that she can join? And that we beforehand agree if we like said people? I do not love my wife because I can fuck whoever I want whenever I want without her feeling insecure because what she loves most about me is how safe she feels with me present? Advice: Learn to think less like the dope pope and more like Nero the ladies Hero. (and Dont go making rhymes like that unless you are awesome like me). 2. AHA! THIS MEANS YOUR WIFE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! Uh, she knew she was marrying a womanizer, because she fell in love with said womanizer and not in what she could "transform him into", not what she could shape a man she considers perfect for her, if not perfect as a God (fuck I agree) and said womanizer made her feel safe enough to try if she would enjoy one or several more, and as an experienced well, courtesan (my my that was classy) I know that women tend to like each other... you know under 100 percent of my introductions... Why? We men (not you geeks) where born to fight, genetically we preserved/married hundred of women which are genetically weaker of strength (if not today, its because lesbos are invading us but hey) But could that man bang his 300 chicks all the time? NO, so what did they do... Well they had themselves a party, the man created more babies, and those women left a bit out, where suddenly not so shy about seeking a bit more than the "simpler" forms of company, this trait grew genetically stronger during the years during evolution, and there we go. You dont have to listen to me you know, my advices are only for the hardcore, bad ass MEN with some sincere intentions, and awesome attitude... You might simply have the bible or some other "bright" biblical value up your ass. Or take it out, and accept that you might be seen as an asshole by men, while your women will always be there to fulfill your every (other?) need? I dunno maybe you like men on the side or something, but I prefer watching a sportsgame with a couple of chicks, and just mine rather than a couple of dicks, then I go play playstation 4 with my "waifu" (the one I am legally married with does not enjoy games, so her I go watch television and have deep meaningful conversations with) The thing is, I cant convince you, this is either something you are born to do, or born to try to do and never get the chance to ending up a sad old virgin... Or simply the non genuine guy, getting a woman drunk and trying to fuck her before what? She throws up all over you? Is that your bright light? You can be darker, I would know, as I am Nero/Black. The End? Advice: She loves me for who I am for what I do, advice Numero dos: If you cannot be Nero, try going for the second best

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

cockface

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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