Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!