Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

thumb_up thumb_down -117

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!