Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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You smell just like my mom...

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!