"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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adam burdass

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!