Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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You smell just like my mom...

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!