She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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You smell just like my mom...

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!