He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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adam burdass

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You allergic to semen?

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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