M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!