Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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I hate you already.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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adam burdass

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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