Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!