(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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adam burdass

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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