hey Herpes Go Away!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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