This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

You smell just like my mom...

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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