Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!