- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an ahole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like st!"

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.