Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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adam burdass

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!