- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +46

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

thumb_up thumb_down -68

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +125

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Sugar-free sugar cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You smell just like my mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

thumb_up thumb_down +17

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

thumb_up thumb_down +154

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +153

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!