One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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