guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!