Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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I hate you already.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!