- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book