If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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You smell just like my mom...

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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adam burdass

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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