i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!