male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

You smell just like my mom...

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

adam burdass

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!