Your body would look good in my trunk.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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I have no gag reflex.

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"Don't scream"

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!