Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Have you met Ted?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!