Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!