Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!