Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-hey, come here a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Stable relationships are for horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!