- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

Are you from Wales, because...well...

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book