Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!