If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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You allergic to semen?

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!