Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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