- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!