While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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I hate you already.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!