He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!