Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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You allergic to semen?

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!