Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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