Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

will you marry me

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

your boobs are bigger than my nose

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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