You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!