He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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You smell just like my mom...

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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