- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Eat me, I'm organic!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book