Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!