Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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You allergic to semen?

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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adam burdass

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!