Hello children! :D

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!