Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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