As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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