- Anti-Pickup Line

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

free candy....

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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