- Anti-Pickup Line

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

Put the lotion on the skin!

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

will you marry me

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

free candy....

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! wiggles tail woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension and leaves. Dog: HOWL! whimpers :( throws top hat away Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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