Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -28

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!